quite obviously i haven’t blogged in awhile. when i created this blog, i was hoping it would turn into a great documentary to our first experience as homeowners. {i got that from a classmate} but life got in the way, i was busy, we were busy, i just didn’t have time to write.
well, i guess, that is not really the truth. we always find time for what is important, right? i have been uninspired. or maybe, i’ve had too much inspiration, not enough direction. either way…
i see blogs that my classmates write, i read them, i digest them, i am awed by them. i read popular blogs, and business blogs. i read blogs about cooking and blogs about photography. how do they find the ideas, the words, how do they come up with such interesting things to say about business, art, their journey, faith, work, friends, etc. etc. etc. is my life not interesting? am i dumb?
whenever i sat down to write, i always felt like what i had to say was unimportant. but that brought forth the question, who am i writing for? what am i writing about? do i hope my blog will be known as funny? creative? sad? inspirational? informative? am i writing for me? for a general internet audience? for friends, family? no one?
My house covered in snow.
so, i have remained uninspired. i haven’t found a way to answer these questions. and life gets in the way. first i’m going to figure that out next week, then, the week after…soon its been a month…two…six…and i think at this point … 9 months or so? geez. where does the time go!
i can’t believe i have owned a house for almost 9 months! holy wow!
life has changed so much over the last two years. i graduated from college! i moved back to texas! i finally released my brother! i have started to forgive myself! i have lost more than 50lbs since leaving siloam! i released the stress, the anger, the fear, the depression that came from going to school at a university where i didn’t really “fit in.” i am a homeowner! i work for papa at coldair, we are a corporation…we are no longer a small, sole proprietorship company! i sell an amazing eco-friendly cleaning product line ~ rockin’ green! i joined pink zebra home fragrance as a consultant! i became single! i started working two jobs – i now am {proudly-ish} a cashier at my local target {yay for discounts!} i have roommates for only the second time in my life! i fell in awe of a 17 year old with an incredible story to tell. i upgraded from a small sedan to finallyan suv {maybe not the most fiscally smart decision, but i am SO happy with it!!}!
My New Rav4!!
change. that was my mantra the last few years. everything was changing. well, heck, over the last 4 years if you go back to losing ben and moving away from my “home”. i guess that is the mantra of humanity. change. maybe mantra is the wrong word…but i like it.
this year, my mantra is “me.” selfish? probably. but, i am told constantly that i need to take time to work on me. to be with me. to make me better and happier and well, just make me whoever i am meant to be.
focusing on me is hard for me. so far, i haven’t done a good job of it. but every day, i remind myself that this is MY year. this is my year to get my finances in order. this ismy year to stand up for myself for whatever it may be. it is my year to spoil myself. it is my year to work my tail off so hopefully next year i can relax. it is my year to discover what i like and what i dislike. it is my year to forget people that don’t serve me good purpose and spend more time with those that do.
i hope i also make it my year to write. i miss writing. i miss blogging. i used to write and blog all the time. i’m not sure what happened. somewhere along the way, i just stopped.
so here’s to me. here’s to a new year. here’s to whoever might read this blog. if you don’t like it, no hard feelings. move on. i don’t mind. once i write again, maybe i’ll try to be like my classmates and all those other great blogs out there. but for now, i just want to write for me.
happy new year to ya’ll. may it be the best one yet! and now, to brag on my beautiful/handsome/adorable siblings!
